MMR: Swimmer's Ear and Life's Writers...

I lead a boring life.

Now now, stop laughing! I mean it! Man, every time I say this, everyone thinks I'm joking, but I'd super serial about this! I lead a boring life!

I see life like a storyline laid before you. There's ups and downs, and then everything works out at the end of a nice 30 minute segment. However, this isn't what happens! Things drag on. There are boring stretches. Some things never get resolved. Life's writers need to learn something from sitcom writers. My life needs better writers.

If my life had writers, wacky shit would be happening around me all the time! Like I'd come into work and there'd be a monkey at my desk...and 30 minutes would be full of me figuring out where it came from, my coworkers acting like nothing is wrong, and finally me deciding that a monkey could do my job for me and I'd just go hang out with my friends. That's amazing! Nothing like that ever happens to me.

Right now I have swimmer's ear. It's a particularly bad case of swimmer's ear, from what I am reading. I have pain, drainage, and a swollen ear canal. It's been getting progressively worse for the last 3 days. I started taking antibiotic ear drops a day and a half ago. They haven't really been helping yet. But, once again, from what I am reading, I should see things getting better in the 48-72 hour window after starting them. So, you know, by tomorrow things should start clearing up. And I hope they do, because otherwise I'd have to go back to the doctor, and that would be inconvenient.

If my life had better writers, one of two things would happen. One, it would have turned out that it was like a little tiny bug burrowing in my ear, and once removed, I'd get instantly better. Two, it would be swimmer's ear still, but I wouldn't have to go to work, and I'd have someone taking care of me and making sure I was comfortable until I got better. But my life's current writers (who really should go on strike), decided it should linger, get worse, and I'd have to deal with it while working myself. Ugh. No fun.

I wonder if I could get the writers from The Office to write my life's script. I think I'd have more fun that way!