The 2nd Day of Patmas

On the second day of Patmas, I give to you…white lights vs colored lights: the showdown!

Every December, homes across America are riven by discord.  Spouses square off.  Children rise against their parents.  Roommates glare at each other across the living room.  The subject of this strife?  It's not eggnog, or proper wrapping technique, or whether it's okay to play "Feliz Navidad" more than twice a day.  No, we're talking about Christmas lights: multicolored or clear? 

I have my own preferences…and if you’ve ever been in any of my houses throughout the years, you’ll know I’m a colored man…wait, that came out wrong…I meant to say that I am a man of color!  Shit…I like pretty colored Christmas lights to plain, boring old white ones!  But, there is a debate to be had…so, let’s take a look!

White Christmas Lights

The main thinking about white lights goes as such:  white lights are classy and work with everything.  Go through any upscale neighborhood, and you will likely see an abundance of white lights.  You’ll see those giant brick houses outlined in bright, white lights.  And, I will admit, it looks very neat, clean, and classy.  You can tell there is no fun to be had at that house…only quiet admiration of the pretty white lights.

 

That’s not to say white lights are all bad!  Of course not.  White lights give off a soft glow that demands the age-old mantra, "Everyone looks better in the dark," be updated to "Everyone looks better when lit by white Christmas lights."  There is a reason college students, who are otherwise idiots about decor, use white light strands to decorate their barren dorm rooms: they set an automatic mood of peace and tranquility.  White lights let your decorations shine.  They look like snow.  They look like ice.  They look like candles.

A tree with white lights can shine on even the darkest of nights.  But in the end, we are surrounded by white light all freaking year.  I need some color in my life!

Colored Christmas Lights

Whereas white lights are the hoity toity version of Christmas decorations, the colored lights are the fun brother who lives across the tracks.  It's fun. It's festive.  It says go ahead, have too many cups of spiked hot chocolate and wear that Santa hat, we're all friends here.  Who cares about clashing colors, or whether the lights match the rest of your house.  If you're doing seasonal decor right, it'll look like a reindeer barfed on your doorstep, anyway.  Go nuts!

At the risk of sounding treacly, there's just something a little magical about bringing a big, riotous burst of color to a random corner of your living room, or your front porch, or strung across your kitchen window.  It changes the whole look of the place. You dim the overhead lights and suddenly it's all red, green and blue.  Doesn't matter if you've got landlord beige walls and Ikea furniture—suddenly it's like you're inside that Chip and Dale cartoon where they wreak havoc inside Mickey's Christmas tree!  Hell, even the most famous Christmas Tree in America is usually decked out in fun, festive colored lights!

Tacky?  You bet!  Colorful?  Absolutely!  Fun in a way white lights can never be?  Yes!  Colored lights ARE Christmas.  String em up, grab the egg nog, and lets party!