Groundhog Day

This has to be the silliest American Tradition ever:



The groundhog (Marmota monax) is a rodent of the family Sciuridae, belonging to the group of large ground squirrels. Yes, that's right, its a giant squirrel. And it lives in a log. And it talks to a human and tells him if he can see his shadow or not. And upward 40,000 people come out to the tiny town of Punxsutawney, PA to watch this asinine spectacle.

More ridiculous than the event itself is the lore behind it. Punxsutawney Phil fans say that there is only one Phil (all the other groundhog weathermen are imposters), and that he has made weather prognostications for over 120 years as of 2010. They say that every summer, Phil is fed a sip of the mysterious Groundhog Punch, which magically lengthens his life for seven years. This is done by Inner Circle members. According to the Groundhog Club, Phil, after making the prediction, speaks to the Club President in "Groundhogese", which only the Inner Circle appear to understand, and then his prediction is translated for the entire world.

No joke.

It really makes me wonder how something like this happened to be created. It supposedly dates back to 1887, so were there like some amazing drugs back then? I mean, some dude must have be higher than a kite, completely tripping balls, found a groundhog in the woods with his buddies, and created this fantastic story about being able to understand it, but only he could understand it...actually, this sounds a lot like Joseph Smith and the start of Mormonism...but I don't want to get all religious on you here. But seriously, who makes up something like this? And how in the world has it survived for over 120 years? Very odd indeed.

Also, if the point is whether the groundhog sees it's shadow, then it gets even more ridiculous. They hold the ceremony BEFORE SUNRISE! Thus, he should never see his shadow, as the SUN IS NOT YET UP TO CREATE ONE FOR HIM! And if he does not see his shadow, then Spring is arriving early! Which is joyous news, I guess. And if he does see his shadow (which seems unlikely, as they do this before daylight), then we have 6 more weeks of winter, which is a convenient number, being as, on our calendar, there's just about 6 weeks until the Vernal Equinox (6 weeks and 4 days in 2010). But he should never see his shadow anyways, right? Since we're doing this before dark.

Well, not so fast. Let's look at the statistics.

Phil has made groundhogese predictions about the length of winter 114 times as of today...and of those 114 predictions, 100 times he has seen his shadow...in the dark...before the sun comes up.

So, 100 out of 114 times he sees a shadow that does not actually exist yet, and predicts that spring will come at the exact same time the calendar says it does every year. Way to go out on a limb there, Phil!

To top off the insanity, apparently there are now 15 groundhogs making weather predictions on Groundhog Day. Phil may be the original, but apparently he's not the only one who can tell us that the calendar has Spring in the right starting point yet again. I'd go look up the statistics about how often these groundhogs see their shadow, and how long they've been around...but I've done way way WAY more than enough research on groundhogs to last me a lifetime.

HAPPY GROUNDHOG DAY!