"I intend to beat this disease"

At a press conference after he was diagnosed with testicular cancer, Lance Armstrong stated "I intend to beat this disease, and further, I intend to ride again as a professional cyclist." Now, I can't tell you what it is like to stare cancer in the face and attempt to beat it. I have been lucky thus far in life. However, I know a young man who has fought cancer since he was in Kindergarden. This is a young man who, against all odds, has lived off and on with brain tumors since he was 6. This is a young man who has been and continues to be a brother to me. This young man is Chris Piccardo.

When tumors were first found in his brain when he was 6, doctors were able to perform surgery and remove them. However, they warned that they may return, and after his 18th birthday, they may really explode and appear in multiple places. Tumors reappeared in Chris's brain in 2nd grade, 5th grade, 8th grade, and 11th grade (i believe, i may be a bit off, but its been about once every three years). Luckily though, technology's advances were keeping up with Chris, and the tumors were able to be removed each time.

Earlier this year, though, exam results showed that the tumor had returned, and just as doctors had warned when this first happened, it had blown up, appearing in four different spots in the brain. While two of these tumors would be easy to remove, the other two are in bad places. One is on the brain stem and the other is inside one of the brain's ventricles, where the cerebral/spinal fluids are circulated. The tumor was backing up fluids in Chris's brain and giving him headaches. A shunt was put in to siphon off backed up cerebral fluids and deposit it into the stomach. The newest technology is a type of chemotherapy in pill form. This chemo was shrinking the tumor on the brain stem, but not the one in the ventricle...the most dangerous one. The last ditch effort to shrink this tumor has been to inject some radioactive fluid into his spine and have him lie with his feet up to send the fluid into the brain, in the hopes it reaches the tumor. Unfortunately, with the shunt in, there is no way to tell how much, if any of the fluid is actually reaching the tumor. He can't live without the shunt, but it might be preventing the medicine from reaching its intended target. With surgery out of the question (it will leave Chris a vegetable, which would be worse than death), the only option left is to keep Chris as comfortable as possible.

While waiting to see if this last ditch effort will work, Chris has taken a turn for the worse. As the tumor fills the ventricle, Chris slips in and out of consciousness. He sleeps more than he is awake, and is slowing down tremendously. He is having trouble moving around much, is having more headaches, and is having trouble speaking above a muted tone. All indications are that the last medications aren't working. Barring a miraculous turnaround, Chris probably only has 1-2 weeks left, if that.

As hard as this has been to me (Chris is like a brother to me), this has to be hard on his family. And there have been differing reactions. Some are mad that they can't fix it. They want to just "make it all better" and can't accept that there is nothing that can be done. Others are trying not to think about it and keep occupied elsewhere. Of all 5 Piccardos, Chris is taking it the best. When eating some skinned peaches the other day, he commented "You know, they better have these in heaven." He knows what will be will be. He is staring death in the face and saying "bring it on, I'm prepared!" His attitude has been very brave.

You may be wondering what Lance Armstrong has to do with this. Well, like Lance, Chris has fought cancer. He sought to beat this disease, and has done so successfully for many years. Unfortunately, where Lance could have his infected testicle removed, Chris cannot have his brain removed. However, both of these men has stared cancer in the face, and even when it would have been easy to just sit back and say "fuck it, i can't beat this," they perservered and successfully fended off this disease. In Chris's case, his tumors have surpassed current technology. There is no current treatment for tumors in the brain's ventricles, and no good treatment for ones on the brain stem. Chris has bravely fought this disease for 13 years, and because of this, more people have been able to meet and have their lives affected by this great kid.

Cancer is a nasty disease that needs a cure. It took my grandfather from me 6 years ago. It took Stan Butkivich from his family and friends just recently. And it is now about to claim its third victim in my life, a guy i consider my brother. It has been so hard to see him deteriorate like this. I remember back on the 4th of July he was up, running around with us out on the football field. I threw him a touchdown, and his parents were so happy that he got up and involved in the game. And now he's asleep most of the time while the tumor consumes his ventricle. Chris is still out there in teh family room ready for WWE wrestling every Monday and Thursday, though. And I will be there with him every Thursday, cheering for the Undertaker (his favorite wrestler) and enjoying his company. Chris is one of the most remarkable kids I have ever known. No one else I know could have lived with brain tumors since the age of 6 and handled it with the poise and udnerstanding he has all these years. I will miss him tremendously when he is gone. But I know he won't really be gone completely. He will be there when I spend time with my "second family" the Piccardos. He'll be there every time I throw a football or watch the Niners (his favorite team). And he'll be there, sitting right beside me every Monday and Thursday night when I settle in to watch my wrestling.

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This will be hard on everyone, especially his family. While I have to be there for them, I would appreciate my friends being there for me during this tough time. Keep the Piccardos and especially Chris in your thoughts (and prayers if that's your thing), and cherish the time you have with your family and friends, as you never know when things can change.