The Myth of the Game

"That guy can get any girl he wants. He's definately got game."

I'm sure you have heard this phrase used many times. A person who can seemingly get with the opposite sex easily is said to have game. So, I ask myself, what is this game, and where do I buy it? I like games. Especially ones I'm good at. Is there an instruction manual to this game? OK, I jest, but still the fact remains: I believe the concept of "game" to be a myth.

First, let's look at the qualities of someone who is usually described as having "game." I'm going to use a guy's perspective as men are usually the ones being refered to as having game. A man with game usually is at ease talking with the ladies. He has no problem walking right up to them and starting a conversation. This guy will usually also be fairly good looking. Now, I'm not saying they are always devistatingly attractive, but that they have something attractive about them that will interest females. Next, when this guy is talking to girls he knows what he is saying, can read the situation, and adapt accordingly to changes in the situation. For example, if he is talking about his classes, and the girl looks bored, the man with "game" will notice this and try something else, ask about them, etc. He is funny, charming, and self assured. He is a guy everyone will like.

Now, what is so special about this? Basically, I just said that a guy with game can hold a conversation with a girl. I'm sorry, but that isn't game. That is CONFIDENCE. Confidence and pride.

Most girls, when asked what they like to see in guys in public or in a club, say they want someone who isn't afraid to talk to them. They don't want cheesy one liners ("Hey, you look an awful lot like my next girlfriend"). They don't want a guy who sits there and gawks at them from the other side of the room whispering to his buds "Damn, did you see the ass on that hottie!". A man who has the confidence to walk up to an attractive woman and say hi is that much more attractive. Confidence is the key. Confidence and pride in oneself. A man who walks in with a dirty shirt, has his belly hanging out of it, and hasn't shaven in a week obviously doesn't take pride in his appearance. Shaving, putting on a clean shirt, and keeping yourself in decent shape isn't game. It is a matter of pride in oneself. If you have pride in yourself, others will want to be around you more often. You look that much more attractive because you make the effort to take care of yourself. You don't have to be devistatingly attractive to look good.

Now, knowing what to say and when to say it is probably the closest thing to "game" as you will find. However, this falls more under being a decent human being than anything else. You pay attention to who you are talking to, and make adjustments based on what you see. A girl is tapping her toes to the music and looking at the couples dancing on the floor probably wants to dance. Ask them. A girl who's eyes wander off when you mention your trip to Europe probably doesn't want to hear about it. Listen and respond. Don't be a self-absorbed jerk. Make a genuine effort to hear what she has to say and show her a good time.

So, letsee...confidence, pride, decent human being. I don't think that's game. That's just being yourself and having pride in yourself. If you have the confidence to go up and say hi to a girl, you are that much more likely to actually get to talk to the girl. So, get out there, take care of yourself, and have confidence in yourself. Don't hold back, go up and talk to that girl. Chances are she's tired of being gawked at all night and will appreciate the conversation. And, who knows, maybe you will find you connect and all will be good. Either way, you're better off than sitting on the sideline complaining about having no "game."