When I sat down to write this section, the first thought that crossed my mind was, “wait, what the hell even happened this year?” Either I’ve just not been paying attention, or there really was very little of note to happen in the world this year. I should qualify that as saying very little new things of note, since, yes there’s still a war going on in Iraq. But, after some research (and stumbling across AP’s list of their nominations for the top news stories of the year that was sent out to writers across America), I’ve narrowed down my top 10 stories of the year. These are the top 10 stories as they appealed to me, not necessarily the most important for the world at large, or anything like that. Feel free to disagree and post your thoughts on anything you think I missed.
So, without further ado, here is The News According to Patrick!
So, without further ado, here is The News According to Patrick!
1. The Deadly Shooting at Virginia Tech: This was pretty fucked up. The kid had made tapes talking about how he had been outcasted, and how everyone was going to pay. Then he locked himself in one of the school’s buildings and opened fire on classrooms. He ended up killing 32 people, making it the deadliest shooting rampage in U.S. history. It was like Columbine all over again, except he was a much better shot. But he was just as cold and calculating. People like that scare the shit outta me. Nothing but the best wishes and sincerest condolences to the families affected by this…
2. The Southern California Wildfires: I’m probably overrating this story, but I live here, and my baby sister was sorta affected by it, so it sticks. Tons of homes were destroyed, including the homes of many famous celebrities and sports figures. They raged on for hella days, before the winds finally died down. Is it just me, or does SoCal tend to burn down every year? Yet another reason to live up here in NorCal!
3. The Demise of the U.S. Dollar: For the first time in decades, the Canadian dollar was more valuable than the U.S. dollar. The Euro hovered between 1.40 dollars/Euro and 1.50 dollars/Euro. And the British Pound was more than double in value. Rough times. This especially sucks for those of me who want to go internationally travel. It’s too damn expensive now!
4. Iran Has Nukes! Wait, No It Doesn’t!: This was pretty stupid. Ammanajabbaiidabjamabad is pretty much an idiot (did anyone catch the things he said at Columbia University regarding homosexuals and what goes on in his country? It was absurd). But everyone was up in arms that Iran apparently had a nuclear program and were building reactors and bombs and all that mess. Then, a report comes out saying, wait, no, they took all that shit apart in 2002, like the UN directed. And the U.S. looked like idiots, again. Iran still needs to be watched, but moreso because of the nutcase leading it than the possibility of them starting WWIII.
5. U.S. Troop Surge in Iraq: The U.S. sent more troops into Iraq to try and help quell the violence; and it worked, somewhat. Violence is down, but it’s still a rather volatile place, and there’s still bombings and the like. This, of course, is part of the bigger story of WE’RE STILL THERE! Going into Iraq when we did was a mistake. Going into Iraq with as few troops as we did was a mistake. We’re fighting in Afghanistan still, and fighting in Iraq. If anything else comes up, we’re boned. However, we made the mess, and I feel we should have an obligation to clean it up. Personally, I think we should split Iraq up into 3 countries, one for each Islamic sect…but then they’d just fight over the borders and nothing would change anyways. Basically, the Iraqis need an army with the capabilities to keep people in check. And, honestly, I doubt their ability to maintain such an army without us. I’m not sure how we’re gonna get outta there, but that will probably be a problem for the next president to deal with.
6. Oil Prices Skyrocket: And, thus, gas prices skyrocket! This has been pretty shitty, with gas costing well over 3 bucks a gallon. I don’t see any change either, unless we either drill in Alaska (but there’s pretty land there…but honestly, who goes to visit it? We could drill in a small portion of it and it would probably help quite a bit) or make cars than run off of water. But then the price of water would probably go up. It would still be cheaper than oil, though!
7. Highway Bridge Collapses in Minneapolis: 13 people died and around 100 were injured. This was pretty nuts, if any of you saw the video. The bridge just, WHAM, collapsed. This was more of a fascination, and luckily only 13 people died, as this could have been much worse. This story helped me occupy an entire day at work. So, yeah, it makes the list.
8. Al Gore wins a Nobel Peace Prize: Actually, he only won half a peace prize, since he shared it with the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. But no one remembers that. Al Gore made a movie! And he was Vice President! What did the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change ever do? Well, mostly they issue reports on what other people find about global warming. And they try to scare people into buying more environmentally friendly things. So, Al Gore made a movie, and the IPCC writes reports. How did they get the peace prize again? This has nothing to do with peace! And they didn’t do anything! Man, I think I’m gonna make a movie next year on some hot button issue and see if I can snag one of those. Wait, I wasn’t VP…yet. I’ll get around to that. But, seriously, a Nobel Peace Prize? Al Gore? Really?????
9. Hadrosaur Mummy Found: Scientists announced the discovery of an extraordinarily preserved "dinosaur mummy"—a 67-million-year-old hadrosaur with much of its tissues and bones still encased in an uncollapsed envelope of skin. This one was pretty cool because it proved that dinosaurs were huge. Wait, maybe it proved...um...I'm not sure how big a discovery this actually was. Dinosaurs were pretty sweet though.
2. The Southern California Wildfires: I’m probably overrating this story, but I live here, and my baby sister was sorta affected by it, so it sticks. Tons of homes were destroyed, including the homes of many famous celebrities and sports figures. They raged on for hella days, before the winds finally died down. Is it just me, or does SoCal tend to burn down every year? Yet another reason to live up here in NorCal!
3. The Demise of the U.S. Dollar: For the first time in decades, the Canadian dollar was more valuable than the U.S. dollar. The Euro hovered between 1.40 dollars/Euro and 1.50 dollars/Euro. And the British Pound was more than double in value. Rough times. This especially sucks for those of me who want to go internationally travel. It’s too damn expensive now!
4. Iran Has Nukes! Wait, No It Doesn’t!: This was pretty stupid. Ammanajabbaiidabjamabad is pretty much an idiot (did anyone catch the things he said at Columbia University regarding homosexuals and what goes on in his country? It was absurd). But everyone was up in arms that Iran apparently had a nuclear program and were building reactors and bombs and all that mess. Then, a report comes out saying, wait, no, they took all that shit apart in 2002, like the UN directed. And the U.S. looked like idiots, again. Iran still needs to be watched, but moreso because of the nutcase leading it than the possibility of them starting WWIII.
5. U.S. Troop Surge in Iraq: The U.S. sent more troops into Iraq to try and help quell the violence; and it worked, somewhat. Violence is down, but it’s still a rather volatile place, and there’s still bombings and the like. This, of course, is part of the bigger story of WE’RE STILL THERE! Going into Iraq when we did was a mistake. Going into Iraq with as few troops as we did was a mistake. We’re fighting in Afghanistan still, and fighting in Iraq. If anything else comes up, we’re boned. However, we made the mess, and I feel we should have an obligation to clean it up. Personally, I think we should split Iraq up into 3 countries, one for each Islamic sect…but then they’d just fight over the borders and nothing would change anyways. Basically, the Iraqis need an army with the capabilities to keep people in check. And, honestly, I doubt their ability to maintain such an army without us. I’m not sure how we’re gonna get outta there, but that will probably be a problem for the next president to deal with.
6. Oil Prices Skyrocket: And, thus, gas prices skyrocket! This has been pretty shitty, with gas costing well over 3 bucks a gallon. I don’t see any change either, unless we either drill in Alaska (but there’s pretty land there…but honestly, who goes to visit it? We could drill in a small portion of it and it would probably help quite a bit) or make cars than run off of water. But then the price of water would probably go up. It would still be cheaper than oil, though!
7. Highway Bridge Collapses in Minneapolis: 13 people died and around 100 were injured. This was pretty nuts, if any of you saw the video. The bridge just, WHAM, collapsed. This was more of a fascination, and luckily only 13 people died, as this could have been much worse. This story helped me occupy an entire day at work. So, yeah, it makes the list.
8. Al Gore wins a Nobel Peace Prize: Actually, he only won half a peace prize, since he shared it with the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. But no one remembers that. Al Gore made a movie! And he was Vice President! What did the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change ever do? Well, mostly they issue reports on what other people find about global warming. And they try to scare people into buying more environmentally friendly things. So, Al Gore made a movie, and the IPCC writes reports. How did they get the peace prize again? This has nothing to do with peace! And they didn’t do anything! Man, I think I’m gonna make a movie next year on some hot button issue and see if I can snag one of those. Wait, I wasn’t VP…yet. I’ll get around to that. But, seriously, a Nobel Peace Prize? Al Gore? Really?????
9. Hadrosaur Mummy Found: Scientists announced the discovery of an extraordinarily preserved "dinosaur mummy"—a 67-million-year-old hadrosaur with much of its tissues and bones still encased in an uncollapsed envelope of skin. This one was pretty cool because it proved that dinosaurs were huge. Wait, maybe it proved...um...I'm not sure how big a discovery this actually was. Dinosaurs were pretty sweet though.
10. Supreme Court Bans Partial Birth Abortions: I’ll go here with my last news story since it is a pretty hot political topic in this country. In April, the Supreme Court upheld the Partial Birth Abortion Ban Act of 2003. Essentially, this enforced the limitation on abortion, and it was the first major anti-abortion law to be passed and up held in the U.S. since Roe v. Wade. I don’t want to go into partial birth abortions here, if you don’t know what it is look it up, but it’s pretty gruesome. While I agree with a woman’s right to choose on the abortion topic, partial birth abortions are just wrong. I’m a firm believer that live starts when the fetus leaves the womb; and since to perform this abortion, you have to remove the fetus from the womb, that’s like killing a live baby…at least in my opinion. I’m sure people will disagree. Definitely a shift in the Supreme Court, though!
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