1) March is a shitty month, historically. And by historically, I meant in my history. This month has already included the anniversary (2 years) of the passing of Stan Butkivich (dad of a very good family friend) and will include the anniversary (first) of the passing of Chris Piccardo, my brother. Its been a rough year for the Piccardo family, trying to move past Chris' death. And I can't even imagine how hard the end of this month will be. The anniversary of his passing is March 28th, with the anniversary of his funeral being April 1st (the sunday of Wrestlemania). I'll be with them watching Wrestlemania on that Sunday the 1st, so hopefully a fun event as such will be helpful...for all of us.
I still miss my brother terribly. I can't believe he was taken from us so young. I mean, really, it shows how unfair life is. I still 100% believe he had way more to offer this world than I ever will...and yet somehow I'm still here, while he is gone. Guess it goes to show you how fucked up this world really can be...and to also cherish the time you have with your friends, family, and loved ones. If you care about someone, tell them, and spend time with them, and enjoy it. I just miss my brother.
On to more general topics:
2) Here's a dilemma for ya. You like someone, but are also pretty good friends with them. You want to broach the subject with them, but if they don't feel the same way about you...they see you as only a friend...you've just made things AWKWARD! Congrats. In my case, I mean, if I had someone I wanted to broach this subject with, and then they didn't feel the same way, I'd be ok with just still being friends. I mean, having them around as friends is better than not having them around at all, right? But I guarantee she would find it awkward and distance herself from me. It always happens. Not just to me, it happens with everyone. Its a rarity that one expresses non returned interest and a party doesn't then feel awkward. Fuck. It boils down to taking chances and what you are willing to risk for happiness with another, I guess.
3) When I get dressed up, I look amazing. AMAZING! But getting dressed up is also really uncomfortable. I have two suits that make me look incredible. I mean, seriously, you should see me in them. But you won't...I don't have a reason to get dressed up these days. Think about that!
4) I was told recently that I was one of the most self-assured or self-confident people they knew. It fuckin blew me away. I have NEVER been a self-confident person. I give myself very little to no credit. But lately I've been seeing the world differently. I need to see myself as a prize. As worthwhile. I still don't see it always. But I do know that I'm pretty great. When I announce it to people, its usually in jest. But I might have something to offer others, and I shouldn't sell myself so short all the time. Whoever I end up with (assuming I find someone who can handle me), will be getting someone pretty great(as I'm sure I'll be getting someone great too, as I'm pretty picky).
5) If you have never seen the show The War at Home, I definately recommend it. Its pretty hilareous. Oh, and 24 is my new favorite show. It's pretty amazing.
6) Next three weekends: In Davis (tentatively), In Morgan Hill w/ the Piccardos, In San Diego for Easter. Not bad, eh. Should be interesting.
7) Sometimes I wish there was a switch I could use to turn off my brain. It doesn't like to be quiet and let me sleep. But then all my motor functions would stop and I'd die. Hmmm, maybe I just need a mute button.
8) As I've written before, I'm pretty bored at home most of the time. I kinda wish I could sill be living in Davis with my buds. Although, its not like they'll all be around much longer either. We're all gonna have to go our own ways eventually. Makes me sad. Spend all this time getting to know people, and it doesn't always last. Ah well, I'm pretty good at keeping in touch with people.
9) Why are people generally stupid? I'll leave that one here for ya to ponder.
10) The baseball season is starting. I have season tickets too! So, if you ever want to go to a game with me, let me know and I'll hook it up!
11) I want to know why people always sell themselves short. I do it too. What is with the lack of confidence in oneself? I really just wish that my friends, and specifically the ones who feel this way, knew how awesome they were. And I'll stop there before I divulge sensitive information about others. I enjoy and cherish the fact that people confide in and trust me.
See, these are just 11 of the things off the top of my head. Unfortunately, these things are usually all in my head at once. My brain doesn't separate these things for me. They just all scream at me at the same time. Ah well, I guess thats what this is for, eh?
I'm not crazy, just complex.
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