So, what makes a true friend? Like, seriously, whats the difference between a friend and "that guy I hang out with sometimes"?
Well, I think it has to do with loyalty, and the ability to help one another out.
A true friend you can tell anything to, and not have to worry about them turning around to try and use it against you.
A true friend is someone you can look to in the dark times, or even at the end of a bad day, and they will let you bounce shit off them and try and help you feel better.
Of course, you would do the same in return, thats how friendship works.
A true friend will not get butthurt when you try to tell them that they are being a jackass or taking things completely out of order. They'll appreciate the help you are offering them, even if they don't agree with you. They will still look at what you are saying with the understanding that you are not trying to hurt or attack them, because you are their friend. They will absorb what you are saying instead of trying to make a personal attack to "get back" at you.
A friend will be there for you when you need them the most: a good friend or family member dies, you have an absolutely terrible day or week and just need to get your mind off things, etc.
On the flip side, if you want friends like this, you have to be a friend like this in return. Be willing to help them out, listen to their probelms and offer solutions...or just be a sounding board for friends to unload on. Be willing to call them on their bullshit, without sounding too high and mighty yourself (something i need to work on). Most importantly, be there for them when they need you the most. Make sure they are doing alright, and if they aren't, do your best to brighten their day.
Being a good friend isn't hard, it just takes a little effort and trust. Trust that your friend isn't out to get you or attack you. That if they say something, its probably because they are worried about you and don't want to see you hurt yourself or do something stupid.
Of course, I would only bring this up if I was currently dealing with all this. It's nothing big, its just that there are moments in one's life when you learn who your true friends are...and sometimes who your true friends aren't. Chris' death was one for me. Tonight turned into another, even though it really wasn't intended to be so. I just wish people wouldn't be so damn selfish and just enjoy what's put in front of them. Trust people in charge to make decisions that are best for a group as a whole, and not take everyhting that goes against you as a personal attack.
Fuck, I'm done. I need to sleep.
3 comments:
Even in true friendship, the arguements can get heated and the attacks can be personal. Part of the trick is to download that, let it sit for just a bit, and then start talking again. There are also different kinds of true friends. I have some where we never really argue or disagree. And I have others where we butt heads regularly, but we always remember that it is just a disagreement. We sort of agree to disagree. Not that we don't try valiently to change each other's opinion, we just eventually give up.
Love,
Mom
I'm sorry you had to deal with it. Even freinds butt heads (like your mom said)just give it some time then think about it again when tempers arn't flaring see if you can still consider whoever a friend or not.
-Dan
To add to your list of what makes a friend that pretty much hits it right on the mark, a true friend is one that can take a step forward after one or both has caused pain... you've showed us what a true friend you are over the past six months or so since you've started coming over and given us another chance even though we all were so decisively split less than a year ago. Again, like your mom said, sometimes friends have things that rip them apart seemingly without solution, but the true friends are the ones who find their way back and keep building a friendship after destruction. Sometimes that is what shows us how true a friend is.
Love ya, Pat.
-Kendall
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