Lately, though, I have not been the only Pat Quinn in my consciousness. Today, we will discuss two famous Pat Quinns on this continent, and, of course, put myself in their shoes!
Pat Quinn, Governor of Illinois
Pat Quinn became the Governor of Illinois on January 29, 2009, when former governor Rod Blagojevich was impeached for generally being a fucktard. He's been their governor ever since, and will be running for re-election in the fall. I assume he's going to win, because its a super liberal state, and he's super liberal. Sad. Pat Quinns should definately not be liberal...but we can't all be perfect!
Since taking over as governor, he's done his best to prove that he's not the jackass that Gov. Blagojevich was, and he's done a decent job of it. He's worked with the rest of the government to govern the state, whereas Blago was a very solitary entity. Apparently he's a pretty ethical dude. Blago tried to throw him under the bus, saying that Quinn charged the state for a bunch of travel shit...but he didn't. He was just Pat Quinn hating...which is grounds for impeachment right there, if you ask me. (No one did)
He's doing his best to balance the state's budget, but he wants to increase the income tax in the state by 50%, which is silly and high. Other that being a democrat, though, he seems like a pretty legit dude...which is very odd for an Illinois politician!
If I was the Governor Pat Quinn, there are a few things I would do. First, I would have had Blago incarcerated for his Pat Quinn hating. But whatevs, I can let that one slide. Second, I'd immediately enact an executive state order calling for the ceasing of operations of the Chicago Blackhawks, and make them forfeit their series with the San Jose Sharks. That's just what's morally right. We don't want the Hawks going to the SC Finals...they're all a bunch of stuck up jerks, and their fans are self-entitled asshats. After doing this, though, I'd probably have to resign...but I'd wait until after the hockey playoffs were over, just to make sure things stayed they way they ought to!
Baring that, I'd probably increase my prominance nationally, in order to position myself for a presidential run. The governor's mansion is a great place to lay the foundation for a presidential run. And Illinois is a real state with a real population, so it would definately be an impressive launching pad. Sadly, the current Governor Pat Quinn is probably too old and from the wrong location to successfully run for president. He is currently 61, but the next presidential nomination for Democrats he could realistically run for would be in 6 years (since Obama will be the nominee in 2 years). At that time he'll be 66. Not really too old, but definately getting there. And would the Dems really want back to back nominees from the same state? Probably not. Sad times. President Pat Quinn has a nice ring to it. Guess I'll have to work on that one myself.
Pat Quinn, Current Head Coach of the Edmondton Oilers
This Pat Quinn has been involved in hockey for many, many years now. He played defense in the NHL for Toronto, Vancouver, and Atlanta (the Atlanta Flames, before they moved to Calgary). He played from 1963-1977, and then retired early because of an ankle injury. At that time he was picked up as an assistant Coach for the Philadelphia Flyers, where he ascended to Head Coach in 1979. He coached there for parts of 4 years, before being fired and replaced late in the 81-82 season, the only season his Flyers coached team did not make the playoffs.
Quinn coached the Kings for 3 years (1 playoff appearance), the Canucks for 5 years (5 playoff appearances), and then the Maple Leaves for 7 successful years (6 playoff appearances). The one year he did not make the playoffs is the year he got fired. Rough stuff. After that, he took a few years off, and then just this past season he coached the Edmondton Oilers to the worst record in the NHL. At this time, though, he is still their coach.
At the 2002 Olympic Winter Games in Salt Lake City, Utah, Quinn coached Team Canada to their first Olympic gold medal since 1952, with a 5–2 victory over Team USA in the gold medal game. This was huge for Canada, and they love him for it. He's also been involved in coaching some of the national juniors teams in Canada, and the professional Team Canada in the World Championship tournaments. Not a bad run!
Also cool...On June 9, 2005, the city of Hamilton, Ontario, honoured Quinn at a special ceremony at Parkdale Arena, on the corner of Main Street East and Parkdale Avenue North, where the arena was officially renamed the Pat Quinn Parkdale Arena. That's right, there's a Pat Quinn Arena in Canada! What a gloriously named arena!
Needless to say, the Canadian Pat Quinn has had a rather successful run in the hockey world. I couldn't be prouder. I mean, he's Canadian, but we can't all be perfect...and he's been pretty much awesome otherwise.
If I were in his shoes...well, first, I'd have a gold medal, which would rule! Also, I'd be head coach of the Oilers. And, well, that would take some work, and trust between me and the GM. I'd take Taylor Hall as my #1 overall pick in the draft, and thank the hockey gods for giving him to me. Then I'd go sign Patrick Marleau to play Center for me, and put him on the first line. I'd also sign a defenseman to shore up the blueline, either that or try and trade Penner and a draft pick to Toronto for Kaberle, who could QB our putrid power play. Those two moves would give us a really solid core to build around, and for our younger players to learn from...as well as still leave us with about 9 million in cap space to sign 7 players...which is awesome. I could bring in Matt Cullen, have him center the third line, and pair him with Marleau on the PK, and they'd be tough to score on!
Then I'd coach my team to the playoffs, one year removed from the worst record in the NHL...and that should get me another Jack Adams award for Coach of the Year! Which would rule!
----------------------------------------------------
Anyways, those two Pat Quinns bring honor and glory to the name of Pat Quinn. They are classy, honest individuals, who are excelling in their chosen fields...fields I happen to be very interested in (politics and sports). It will be up to me to bring honor and glory to my generation of Pat Quinns.
No comments:
Post a Comment